The G-Spot You’ve Heard About…

Jan 13

and the Quiet Pleasure Most People Don’t Know Exists

If you’ve been around my work for a while, you already know this about me:

I don’t usually teach sex as a list of moves.

That’s not because skills don’t matter — they do — but because mechanics aren’t where connection begins, and they’re definitely not where it thrives. Bodies don’t soften because someone memorized a technique. They soften when they feel met, unrushed, and safe enough to respond honestly.

That said… sometimes having a general map can be grounding. And feeling oriented builds confidence. Confidence is extremely sexy and bonus (!) it relaxes the nervous system. And relaxed nervous systems? Yeah. Those are sexy.

So consider this an educational overview — not a performance manual — and an invitation to understand why different kinds of internal pleasure feel the way they do.

The G-Spot: The One Most People Know About

The G-spot is the most commonly discussed internal pleasure zone, even if it’s often misunderstood. It’s typically found along the belly-side internal wall of the vagina, not far inside. When it’s responsive, it often enjoys:

Repetition
Predictable rhythm
A steady, patterned touch

For many women, G-spot stimulation creates a concentrated, noticeable sensation. It can build relatively quickly and feel very specific — sometimes even demanding attention. Because of this, it’s become the main reference point for internal pleasure in popular sex education. But it’s not the only area capable of sensation.

A Lesser-Known Pleasure Zone (That Behaves Very Differently)

Here’s the part most people aren’t taught — not because it’s taboo, but because it doesn’t fit neatly into performance-based narratives. There is another region of sensitive tissue further along the vaginal canal, still on the side closest to the abdomen, nearer to the cervix. It’s often referred to as the A-spot. And it does not respond the way the G-spot does. This difference is important, because many people assume that if one approach works in one area, it should work everywhere. Bodies don’t operate that way.

Why This Area Is So Often Overlooked

The A-spot doesn’t reward urgency. It doesn’t respond well to constant switching, fast movement, or pressure to “make something happen.” In fact, those things often shut sensation down rather than open it. Instead, this area tends to soften with:

Depth rather than speed
Consistency rather than novelty
A calm, settled presence rather than effort

Which means it requires patience and attention to detail— and patience isn’t something our culture tends to prioritize when it comes to sex. This is where the beauty and deliciousness of emotions and regulation of the nervous system shows up. Not chaos — just the real, human mix of sensation, emotion, vulnerability, and subtlety that appears when the body isn’t being rushed or managed.

How G-Spot and A-Spot Sensation Often Differ

Understanding the contrast can help explain why someone might enjoy one and not the other. G-spot pleasure often feels:

Focused
Intense
Localized
Energetic

Deeper internal sensation connected to the A-spot often feels:

Expansive
Grounding
Spread throughout the body
Emotionally connective

Instead of sharp peaks, people often describe a sense of warmth, settling, or fullness — the kind of pleasure that hums rather than shouts.

Why the Body Has to Be Ready

Deep internal sensation requires a body that feels prepared, not pressured. That usually means:

Muscles are relaxed rather than braced
The vaginal canal has lengthened naturally
Desire is present, not assumed
The nervous system feels calm enough to receive sensation

Moving toward deeper internal touch before the body reaches this state often leads to discomfort or shutdown — not because anything is wrong, but because the body isn’t ready yet. I always suggest lubricant and in this case it can create physical ease, minimizing irritation and allowing attention to remain with subtle sensation rather than distraction. When the body is comfortable, curiosity has room to exist.

A Little Orientation (Not a Checklist)

When internal touch is welcome, simplicity goes a long way. Often this looks like:

One or two fingers
Palm oriented upward
Slow, intentional entry
Gentle contact along the belly-side internal wall

What surprises many people is that minimal movement often creates the most sensation here. Rather than fast strokes or frequent changes, bodies frequently respond to:

Sustained contact
Gentle, rhythmic rocking- *Pearl of wisdom note: sometimes this is so subtle, you can barely tell you are moving at all- more of an “essence” of movement.
Or simply steady presence without movement

Sometimes staying still is the most attuned choice.

How Deeper Orgasms Tend to Unfold

Orgasms associated with deeper internal sensation don’t always follow the script people expect. They are often:

Gradual
Wave-like
Experienced as spreading sensation rather than a single release

Some women don’t immediately label the experience as orgasm at all. Instead, they notice a sense of openness, warmth, emotional softness, or deep relaxation. Don’t assume you did something wrong if there are tears- an orgasm, especially this type, is a release of emotion as well as physical tension. There may be stillness and long exhale that feels like relief.

That isn’t dysfunction. That’s the body responding honestly. Just be there for it- whatever “it” is.

Communication That Supports Sensation

When someone is exploring deeper internal pleasure, language works best when it’s grounding rather than directive. Supportive phrases often sound like:

“Stay with what you’re noticing. Just let it be there”
“Let that feeling move you where you want to go.”
“That feels nice, right?”

What tends to interrupt sensation is performance pressure — the sense that something specific should happen, or happen quickly. Bodies know when they’re being listened to.

Positions That Often Feel More Supportive

Certain positions naturally support deeper internal contact by allowing the pelvis to soften and the vaginal canal to lengthen. Often supportive options include:

Lying on the back with gentle hip elevation
Side-lying
Seated positions with the torso leaning back

If discomfort arises, that’s information — not a signal to push forward.

A Few Things Worth Normalizing

Because education should remove shame, not create it:

Not every woman enjoys G-spot stimulation
Not every woman enjoys deeper internal sensation
Depth is not superior to intensity
Slowness does not mean lack of skill in fact, I could form an argument that slowness requires MORE skill.

Pleasure is not something you extract from a body. It’s something that unfolds when the body feels met.

The Real “Secret” Isn’t a Spot

The most important takeaway isn’t about anatomy. It’s about learning to slow down enough to notice how a body responds — physically, emotionally, and nervously — without rushing to change or fix the experience. Mechanical knowledge can help you feel oriented. Orientation can build confidence. Confidence- not cockiness- helps the body relax.

But connection — real, present, attuned connection — is what allows pleasure to deepen. That’s the work I care about. And that’s where the juicy, delicious, and gooey parts our humanness reside.