Kink Coaching
BDSM isn’t what most people think it is. It’s not always about sex, and it’s definitely not all about pain. At its core, BDSM is about choice, trust, and sensation — it’s about play as a way to come home to yourself.
When we stop seeing kink as something to fix or hide, it becomes an incredible tool for healing and embodiment. In a safe, informed space, you can explore what power, surrender, or vulnerability mean in your body — and how those experiences might be exactly what your nervous system has been craving to feel whole again.
Why Kink Can be Healing
Your body remembers everything — every freeze, every moment you had to hold still when you wanted to move, every time you didn’t have a choice. Healing happens when we give the body a chance to finish the story.
BDSM, when approached intentionally, lets you do that. You can explore control and surrender, intensity and softness, dominance and care — and notice what happens inside you when you do. You might discover that your deepest healing lives in the same place as your deepest pleasure: right in the body, right in the now.
This is where we start talking about core desires — those emotional truths that live underneath everything else. Maybe yours are to feel seen, safe, powerful, wanted, or free. Kink gives you a space to practice those feelings somatically, not just talk about them.
For more information about Kink coaching and how it might be beneficial to you (even if you don’t think of yourself as a “kinky” person)
Healing through power, play, and presence
Kink coaching isn’t about performing or being “good” at BDSM — and it’s definitely not about sex. It’s about learning the language of your body and what safety feels like in motion.
Kink coaching is about embodiment — learning your body’s language of safety, choice, and excitement.
Many people play for connection, regulation, or fun. It can be arousing, or it can simply be grounding. The point is choice — your body, your boundaries, your experience.
Boundaries*, consent and how to communicate them clearly.
Identifying your core desires and how they show up in your body.
How your nervous system responds to intensity — and how to regulate it.
What to look for in partners or play dynamics that feel safe and aligned.
Aftercare and integration — how to process and learn from experiences.
this part matters too:
BDSM can absolutely exist without sex. Many people engage in this kind of play for connection, energy exchange, or the emotional high of shared trust. Sometimes it’s arousing, sometimes it’s just deeply regulating — and sometimes, it’s simply fun. Most of my clients take the knowledge they learn from me and apply it to their personal play with partners. When I work with you in a BDSM container, whether we are having a conversation, learning and practicing skills, or we are building and running a scene- There is NEVER sex involved.
Wanna know something really fucking fantastic
about this form of somatic healing?
You don’t have to be “kinky” to explore this and it isn’t always about sex! Kink coaching is for anyone curious about how power, vulnerability, and play show up in their body. When you know what your nervous system needs, you take that awareness everywhere — into sex, love, boundaries, and life.
Untangle shame and explore desire | Prepare for or process experiences in your personal life | Deepen trust in your body and your intuition.
Safety, Trust, and Nervous System Regulation
Everything starts with safety. We move slowly, following your body’s cues.Using tools from Somatic Experiencing® and the Somatica Method, I help you discover how excitement and safety can coexist — the foundation of healing and pleasure. This is where trauma work and play begin to overlap — and where you start to feel free.
For Curiosity and Healing
Kink coaching is for anyone curious about how power, vulnerability, and play show up in their body. You can use this work to:
Exploring how it feels to say no and have it honored — especially if that wasn’t safe in the past.
Practicing receiving care, attention, or support without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.
Reclaiming your voice by negotiating your needs, limits, and desires in real time.
Learning how to tolerate being seen or being the center of someone’s focus in a safe, contained way.
Experiencing controlled intensity to help complete fight/flight/freeze cycles that never got to resolve.
Gently exploring sensations or roles that used to feel scary — but now feel empowering with consent and safety.
Practicing repair and aftercare to teach your nervous system that connection remains even after intensity.
Using power dynamics to experience what it feels like to trust, lead, surrender, or take up space without shame.
Understanding how your body responds to anticipation, novelty, or unpredictability — all through negotiated play.
Strengthening your internal “yes” and “no” signals so you can use them confidently in sex, relationships, and daily life.
Building the capacity to stay present in your body instead of dissociating when vulnerability arises.
Untangle shame and explore desire.
Prepare for or process experiences in your personal life.
Deepen trust in your body and your intuition.
“I was always intrigued by the idea of
Bringing things together that are considered taboo or Risqué
and bringing them together with something of high elegance and sophistication.”
~Dita Von Teese
The definition of Kink is not specific. Kink is anything other than what is considered conventional (vanilla) sex.
BDSM is not always sexual. It can help heal emotional wounds and relieve anxiety. It offers playfulness and challenges boredom. .
Whether you are starting to explore or you are ready to expand, you might be surprised to learn what your true core desires reveal.
To surrender to your core desires you must understand what they are in the first place.
Kink or anything other than “vanilla” sex is often considered weird, deviant, lustful, and for some- sinful.
Lots of reasons can cause even the thought of kink, BDSM, or a fetish to invoke shame that prevents exploring your deepest desires
Group sex, Ethical non-monogamy, or atypical relationships can be extremely fulfilling but has unique needs for support and guidance.
BDSM is gaining interest by those that may not fit the stereotypical image that comes to mind. Taboo entices.