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At some point, it starts to sound true. There’s no one out there for me.
People are all liars.
Everyone cheats eventually.
Why even try? And honestly… you probably didn’t come to that conclusion for no reason. There were experiences. Letdowns. Moments where you trusted and it didn’t go the way you hoped. Times where you opened, and something in you got hurt. So your body learned something. And your brain got to work. Because your brain isn’t trying to help you find love.
It’s trying to make sure you don’t get hurt in a way that feels threatening again. So it takes those moments… and builds a story. Not a nuanced one. Not a hopeful one. A protective one. There’s no one out there for me.
People aren’t trustworthy.
Better not to try than to feel that again. And here’s where to get curious—those stories don’t just protect you from pain. They also quietly block connection. Because when you walk into connection already expecting disappointment, your body is braced. Guarded. Scanning. Holding back. And the brain watches that too. It sees the tension. The hesitation. The lack of ease. And it goes, See? This doesn’t feel good. Something’s off. Which reinforces the original belief. Not because it’s true… but because it’s familiar. But what if those beliefs aren’t truth? What if they’re the brain’s best attempt at keeping you safe from something your body hasn’t fully processed yet? What if the question isn’t “Are people trustworthy?” but “What happens in me when I start to trust?” That’s a very different place to look. Because connection doesn’t start with finding the perfect person. It starts with noticing the moment your system pulls you away from it. The story. The tightening. The quiet decision to stop trying. And getting curious—not judgmental—about what that moment is protecting you from. Because those stories? They don’t just keep you safe. They also keep you alone.
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